How Does Your Garden Grow?
At this point in history, it is entirely understandable if you built a fort. The idea of high walls with a drawbridge is tantalizing. A moat filled with crocodiles would also be a nice touch. The monsters named Anxiety, Uncertainty and Other People’s Stupidity could never enter. Alas, the reason there are so few forts being built nowadays is a simple one. They are expensive.
Gardens, on the other hand, are much cheaper and more beautiful. Here is why you should start creating one now.
The Case for A Garden
Let me start by saying that like my sister other members of my family, I do not have a green thumb. In fact, mine is a black thumb, every plant I touch ends up dead. This is true despite years spent with Aunt Elva who could plant a popsicle stick and make it grow flowers.
The garden I suggest is a garden of the Mind. A mental garden with many of the benefits of a real garden but without the need for bags of nasty smelling fertilizer.
What will be the reward for creating such a garden? My personal experience says the reward is building something that cannot be destroyed by haters, naysayers or the ignorant arguments of the internet.
Sickness, unemployment, or natural disasters do not change your garden. Only you have the power to destroy it but you can rebuild or expand any day you choose.
What Is Needed for The Garden
All gardens need a few basic things to define them as Gardens, otherwise, they’re just bush. So let’s work down the list of necessary items.
Boundaries-
how do you confine your efforts to one particular place? you put up a fence, or a pile of rocks, a wall, to signal this is your space and your work.
In a mental garden the same rule applies. Our boundary is the greatest, most persistent, strongest boundary of all human endeavour (drumroll please….. …..) DEATH!!!!
To be more specific, Memento Mori. Remember Death. At our age, we realize that a game of hopscotch or skipping rope will result in a quick trip to the emergency room or multiple trips to a physiotherapist. Our physical, mental, and sexual abilities deteriorate daily or it takes greater effort to maintain them. What is to be done?
Focus on fewer things with greater intensity. Live a life of less width but greater depth. More importantly, let your focus be on things you actually enjoy. I doubt if anyone lays on their deathbed thinking “I should have bought the box set of, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”. Memento Mori. Value your time and your attention.
Now that we know where and what we’re working with, it’s time to put in the ……….
Soil –
Before anything is planted the soil has to be properly conditioned. If the ground is full of rocks or packed tightly the seeds will have shallow roots which dry out in prolonged heat. If the soil is too loose anything planted will blow away in a strong breeze.
As you get better at gardening you’ll learn how to adjust the soil for the best crops. What is the soil in a mental Garden? Your thoughts, goals, and intentions are what make the soil.
Here is what I learned about the minds of most people when they work on self-development. Generally, people will alternate between being too hard or too soft on themselves. Too soft means refusing to leave their comfort zone even for their own good. Understand that there is no growth within a comfort zone.
Too hard means negative self-talk and increasingly severe demands on our abilities. “I didn’t save $50 this week so I will save $126 next week”. The remedy for this is “in all things moderation, including moderation”.
Examine (on paper, if necessary) your thoughts and goals. Have you made too many excuses to stay comfortable or have you be brutalizing yourself mentally and thereby increasing the risk of failure?
What To Plant?
Any sensible garden will have a variety of plants. Fruit trees, perennials, annuals, vegetables and so forth. You want to be careful in your garden since once something takes root, it will be impossible to get rid of it.
In this garden the trees are our habits. Some of them are useful, providing fruit, shade and wood. Others are invasive species that clog the cesspit causing the toilet to back up, poison the soil, and crowd out the good trees.
Habits for Happiness and Productivity
Exercise
Positive thinking
Sleep
Habits for Anxiety and Sadness
Be ungrateful
Feed your negative emotions with social media
Stare at a screen (phone, TV, computer) every chance you get
Side Note: If you have ever wondered why bad habits take over your mind so quickly, it’s because they are easy. Low effort and high reward are the common traits of all bad habits. In this way scrolling on your phone, snacking instead of cooking, and staying up late for no reason all have the same roots.
Look at your habits. Some require fertilizers such scheduling, planning and rituals to continue growing. Others like doom-scrolling need to be totally rooted out.
Flower Beds & Vegetable Plots
Around the trees there are small spaces to be filled. In these areas we put flower beds and vegetable plots. what will you plant? Vegetables and herbs to nourish the body and beautiful flowers to nourish the soul.
In these small spaces, crops need to be rotated frequently so as not to deplete the soil of nutrients. The same applies to your mental garden. Use these areas to plant your yearly themes. Themes are more flexible and less demanding. They may or may not require new habits.
This year’s theme could be Personal Finance. You might learn all you can about managing your money. This learning could be done through YouTube videos. You might choose to only listen to one or two Financial gurus and put their best ideas into practice.
Another theme might be “One percent better.” Ask “How can I get 1% better in areas that matter to me?”
- What would a 1% improvement in your relationships look like?
- How could lose 1% of your body fat each month?
- How could you pay 1% more on the principle of your mortgage?
Small incremental changes are what make yearly themes so fantastic. The loss of 1% body fat per month will mean losing two dress sizes in one year. One percent more on the principal of your home loan can save thousands of dollars on a 30-year mortgage.
Even a partial victory at a yearly theme will be better than not trying at all. You may fail to achieve a lofty goal but you have stopped a continuous downward slide or perpetual drift. A theme need not last more than a year and should definitely not last more than five years. The general idea is to, “Choose it, Get Good Enough and Move On”.
Harvest
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” Marcus Aurelius
So you’ve read this far and thought, “Wait, this seems like work”
Yes, minimal work but for the maximum amount of time (rest of your life, actually), but the payoff is tremendous.
Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
Your mental garden if successfully planned, planted and nutured allows you to go through life with less worries and more smiles. Isn’t a little effort worth it?
Looking at the political, natural and financial disaster of the past ten years it is easy to become cynical and discouraged about life. The reality is that the power to bring joy and happiness into your life rests with you.
Get to gardening.
Let me know what you think about this post and please share with someone who needs it.
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